Tonight was so much fun! I never thought I would ever get along so well with my coworkers. They are all awesome. Ok this is how the night went…we met at claim jumper (which is where we work) at 10 when we close at 11. Our managers made us sit on the patio and we had one of the sweetest servers possible. Most of the servers would be so angry if they had to serve us, but she wasn’t at all. We ordered sooooo much food. There was 8 of us, and we ordered 4 appetizers, and 3 desserts (which are insanely big) It was so funny watching each other try to get it all eaten. After we were totally sick, a few of us decided to go bowling and play arcade games! It was an awesome night. I’m really gonna miss them. I’ve gotten so close to some of them and saying goodbye is gonna be sad. I love you guys!
This cracks me up. This is exactly how me and Alex’s conversations are. Except he’s the one that falls asleep. I don’t know why I get so worked up when he does and the fact that someone else feels the same way makes me laugh. I think it’s so cute when we fall asleep on the phone together. I think it’s just when we’re in the middle of talking about something or when I’m upset that it hurts when he falls asleep. But I still think it’s adorable when I can help him fall asleep :) and he always says he dreams about me. It’s so cute!
To start things off, I just want to let everybody know this is not Jaime, so don’t get the wrong idea from the title… not that we have that out of the way, let me explain to you how perfect Jay is to me!
Jaime is the kind of girl that knows exactly how to make you smile, laugh, feel great about yourself, and any other positive emotion she wants you to feel. She cares more about everybody else in the world than herself. She is one of the most selfless and humble people I know! For example: her upcoming move to Hawaii is difficult on her because she is afraid of hurting people such as friends and family. Also, she has told me countless times that once she gets married and has two kids of her own, she won’t be able to live untill she adopts two more! She is opening up her heart and family to take in two more kids, ones who have had less fortunate upbringings.
She is also very talented in many aspects of life, although she may deny it. She is an amazing cheerleader, and is about to go to Hawaii to be on their cheer team!!! This has always been a fantasy of hers, and it is finally materializing and becoming reality. She has worked so hard in order to accomplish this, and I am so very proud of her.
One thing she does that demonstrates how caring she is, is that she always tries to take the blame for arguments. Over the past couple weeks, I have been in Montana, and that has caused us to be a roller coaster of emotions. We will wake up happy, spend the day happy, get in a fight/argument in the evening, and go to sleep again happy! Somehow, we are always finding ways to comfort the other person, which makes it obvious that we are meant for each other :) When ever we get in a fight and try comforting each other, she always finds something she did to take the blame. As wrong as it is for her to take blame for something I started, it also helps comfort me, knowing that she cares about my feelings.
I just want to finish up by saying, if you haven’t met Jaime, you are missing out!… If you have met Jaime, you have learned what I just talked about to be 100% true. Meeting Jaime has been one of the happiest things in my life. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t met my best friend, my girlfriend, and hopefully my future wife :) She is amazing, and she deserves to be treated that way :)
“Jaime Elyse Reininga married Alexander Robert Reininga this past saturday in Honolulu, HI on the beach as the sun set behind them. They are embarking on their honeymoon on a cruise around Europe, and are soon expecting their first daughter, Alya Grace Reininga. The couple has recently engraved their vows by tattooing infinity symbols with their date of marriage on their wrists. such a cute couple :)”—Alex
Ugh time won’t slow down. A part of me wants it to hurry. And a part of me wants it to stop completely. My mom posted a status on facebook today that immediately brought tears to my eyes.
"10 days until Jaime and I are off to Honolulu, Hawaii. I’m not super excited about this trip….I guess I know how horrible I’m going to feel coming home alone."
Things like this make me not want to go at all. I hate making people feel horrible like this. Especially my mom. I love her more than anyone on the planet. It’s going to break my heart to watch her leave. And I know she’s going to feel the same. I don’t want to be the one who does that to her. I don’t ever want to see her hurt.
I’ve cried a lot lately. Mostly about stupid drama that didn’t need tears. I can honestly say that the tears rolling down my face right now are the most sincere I have cried in a really long time :/
To my best friend- Wow is all I can say. You are so special to me. We have been through years of memories and I can honestly say you are like a sister to me. You are such an amazing person. We get along so well and have so much in common. We take care of each other and are always there when we need each other. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. I am going to miss you everyday that I am gone. But I know that we will always be close. I love you bestest!
I had the most amazing night tonight, and it was with my family! We rarely spend time together now that me and my brother are older. It was such a random string of events too. We had dinner together, which is something we do every night. My dad asks us if we want to do anything fun tonight and I had the idea of going to race go karts. It ended up being what we did! We went to Malibu Raceway, which is an awesome track and has cars that are so intense you need to have your drivers license to drive them. My dad took my brother with him in his car and the me and my mom drive our own cars. It was so fun! We all almost crashed a bunch of times. After we were done, we played a bunch of arcade games and took pictures in the photo booth. Which is always fun. After Malibu, we went to 7/11 for slurpees and ended the night with red velvet cake.
It was an awesome night. It’s memories like that that I will always remember. And it makes me realize how much I’m truly going to miss them.
Today, I started packing. It is probably one of the most bittersweet things I’ve ever done. My room is slowly becoming more and more empty and less filled with my personality. Which is sad. But it’s exciting because my suitcase gets filled up! And I know where It’s headed. I’m getting more anxious as each day passes. Yeah that’s all I really have to say. I gotta get back to cleaning and packing. 11 days!
Wow, the things God can do never ceases to amaze me. Me and my boyfriend are on the rocks, if you couldn’t already tell by my other posts. Things happen that make me think we aren’t right for each other, but even then my heart stays close to him. We were talking this morning, both of us upset. I check my facebook and noticed I got a message from someone I didn’t know. Curious, i click on it, and what I read brought tears to my eyes.
Jaime - you don’t know me but somehow I feel moved to communicate with you. I know Alex and I knew his mother Allison when they lived in Whitefish. I just want to tell you how special I think he is and so therefore, you must be also. I also wanted to tell you how much you would have loved his mom. She was such an incredible woman. I worry about the children she left behind which is why I think I am moved to say hello to you.
Alex was and is such a gentle soul. He was always so good to his brothers and sisters as I am sure you know - even when he was a lot younger and could have been more interested in himself than anything.
I have not seen Alex lately - last time was last summer - but he always was kind to me and to my family, polite and always offered his smile and a greeting. I know how much you mean to him just from seeing his posts and also have heard how much he aches for you when he is away from you.
Anyway - you look like such a sweet girl and I know Allison would have loved you and you would have felt the same way about her. Take care and stay true to yourself!
God Bless you today and always.
I have never met the person that wrote me this. Have never even talked to her before. Her words truly made me feel special and that alex is truly worth the love I have for him. And just hearing her say that his mom would have loved me, means the world to me. I wish i would have gotten the chance to meet her, from what i know she is an amazing person. so hearing this lady tell me that she would have loved me is so special.
Things like this make me question my relationship with alex. Not wondering if we’re meant to be or not. But instead, why we get into deep water like we are at the moment. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I don’t care if people say we aren’t right for each other. I truly believe we are.
So to Alex- I was stupid to overreact. I tried to convince myself of something I knew wasn’t true. I don’t know what I was thinking. I want us to be ok again. because I love you so much.
“I want so bad to vent. I want to scream out every emotion I’m feeling. But I can’t. Because those who hear me will criticize and those who don’t hear will never care. I must keep these feelings inside. They are destined to haunt me.”—
Tomorrow will bring my countdown to 11 days. And it still hasn’t hit me.
I have just started thinking about what I need before I leave, and what I need once I’m there. And there is so much money involved. Money for the plane ride, dorm stuff like bedding, and then the fun stuff like getting “laid” getting off the plane, manicures and pedicures before, and stuff to do while my mom is there with me. It’s getting so expensive. I haven’t been spending much at all lately, but i still feel like there won’t be enough. it’s stressful.
I’ve also kicked my running up a few notches. I ran with one of my good friends last night. We were planning on running two. She stopped at two, but I needed to keep going. i wasn’t worn out at all. And i didn’t start getting tired until like three and a half. it was awesome! i ended up running four in 50 minutes. which needs to get faster, but i was still so proud of myself. it definitely shows how dedicated i am to my dreams.
alex is still not home. the “set date” is now this weekend. i have a feeling it will be changed again so i’m trying to not get my hopes up, even though it happens everytime. I just want him home. I want to be with him, spending time with him. I need to know that I made the most of my time.
No one has been asking me to hang out or anything lately. Kinda makes me sad. but i’ve started to get over the fact that people don’t care. I have the true friends. I don’t need the others.
I’m just rolling through the days now. Waiting to depart. It’s gonna be amazing.
“”It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother”—Jacob Black in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
I’m sure a bunch of you read my post yesterday about how hurt I was with a situation. And I was. The things that happened really made me stop and think. But what I failed to mention is that there could have been another view of the situation besides my own. I saw an inbox full of messages from girls. He saw an inbox of messages from friends. I failed to give him a chance to explain when that’s all he really needed. And once I finally gave him the chance to explain himself, I felt foolish. I don’t know why I jumped to such conclusions. I just worry that one day, he’ll fall out of love. And every day I fall deeper.
As much as I wanted to simply walk away after what I saw in his messages, I couldn’t Because he deserves forgiveness, especially since he had no idea it was hurting me. He had explanations for every single thing I was upset about. He even posted a blog explaining his feelings. I knew that he was changing to make new friends. I knew it from the first day he got there. And last night, he finally realized he was. And now he’s back to how we both want him to be. He didn’t like the person he became. And neither did I.
I know he loves me, and that’s why I can’t keep forgiveness from him. I don’t know why I got so worried. He made it very clear I am the only girl in his life. And after talking it all out, he sang lullabies to help me fall asleep. Makes me believe we are meant to be. There is nothing he could do to make me stop loving him.
Have you ever felt like you truly needed someone? Like you weren’t yourself without them. Yeah it sounds ridiculously lame, but I can honestly say that’s how I feel with him. I see other couples, people I know. Pictures of them happy together, holding hands or hugging. And surprisingly, it makes me fall for him even more. I know that they can’t have what we have. They never will. I’m sure they all have good relationships, but ours is something people wait their entire life for. That only some achieve.
The way he can make everything in the world stop so that we can focus on each other. The butterflies I get when I see him, even after 2 years. He’s something special. I know I will never find someone who loves me as much as he does. I’ve been so lucky to have him in my life.
I love him with everything that I have. I could care less what people think. They can’t feel the way I do for him. They don’t know what my heart truly wants. They’ll never know what it’s like to love someone as much as I love him.
It’s crazy how someone else’s emotional state can impact your own. If they are sad, you are sympathetic. If they are excited, you are happy for them. If they are content, you share in the happiness. It’s amazing how linked we all are in this world. And it’s even more amazing how everyone, literally everyone, has one person who’s emotions are so tightly tied together with. You feel the same way as the other. And you would do anything for them to be happy. Because their happiness is the base for your own.
My daughter’s name will be Alya (Uh-lee-uh) Grace and my son’s name will be Caden (Kay-din) Alexander. No I’m not pregnant. I just was thinking about names and those are my favorite at the moment. They are unique and no one else in their classes will have them. My kids are going to be completely one of a kind. :)
I don’t know how to keep my hopes up for something that constantly disappoints me. When you get excited over and over about the same thing, and it never happens how it’s supposed to.
Ok, let me explain. So like I’ve mentioned in a lot of my other posts, Alex is in Montana. He goes every chance he can. Not on his own will. It’s complicated. Every time he goes, there is always a set number of days he tells me he will be gone. And I begin to count down. But when it comes down to the last two or three days, I always get the same news. ”I’m staying for a couple more days.” This happens literally everytime. You think I would learn.
Surprise, surprise. It happened again this time. He was supposed to come home last weekend, but was told he was staying until this weekend. So there’s one bullet into my excitement. I starting counting down again with it ending today. But Friday, another bullet. He now doesn’t know when he’s coming back. It could be a few days and It could be as bad as I wouldn’t get to say goodbye before I left for Hawaii. I hate not knowing. And I hate constantly getting disappointed over this. As much as I am excited to see him, I can’t get excited over a date. It’s hard to get excited about something that will probably let you down.
He gets upset because he thinks I’m not excited for him to come home, and that’s not it at all. I want him home so bad. I want to be spending time with him. But I can’t. Because that opportunity to spend the past 2 weeks was ripped from me. And it sucks when I sit here waiting for him, and the date is constantly pushed farther and farther away.
It’s like I’m on a treadmill. Never getting closer to where I need to be.
When I see your face There’s not a thing that I would change Cause you’re amazing Just the way you are And when you smile, The whole world stops and stares for awhile Cause girl you’re amazing Just the way you are
Why does the night seem to bring out emotions you thought you could keep inside. I can keep a smile all day and be completely happy. But the moon comes up and these feelings hit me full power. I am scared to death. I don’t know what to do if I need help or get lonely. Who will I turn to? And what if people here forget me? I would be heartbroken. There is so much to miss here. And it’s gonna be so hard leaving it all behind.
I had an amazing idea to help me out when I’m home sick. Alex sings this lullaby to me when I can’t sleep. Its adorable. I was thinking about getting a build a bear with the customized voice of him singing it. So I could listen to it whenever I got lonely and have something to cuddle with. But I don’t have any money :( and that is something that is more of a gift idea and not really something that would be special if I bought it for myself. So I gave that idea up :/
Which makes me think of all the other times I’ve moved. And there are plenty. I’ve had surprise going away parties, cute little presents, notes to help me remember people. I’ve kept them all this time. And I know I’m too old for all of that. But it still would be nice. That sounds so selfish and stupid. But honestly to be surprised with a present like the bear, would blow me away. I would keep it forever. Or if a friend wrote me a letter about how much I mean to them. Just something that someone put time or thought into that I could cherish. It’s kinda sad that these things aren’t gonna happen. It’s all stuff I’ve outgrown.
I’m acting like such a little kid. I guess I just wanna be shown that I will be missed…..
My favorite thing in the world is when I’m in your arms falling asleep, and I can feel your light touch on my face and in my hair. It is the most amazing thing in the world. Can you please come home? I miss your hugs. Your amazing smile. The way you look at me. The touch of your fingers on my skin. Your gentle kisses. The way you make me feel. Like I’m invincible. You have a way of making everything ok. I miss you. So so much.
I just wanted to say thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me. You guys have been there when I needed you and you have helped me grow, not only in my skills, but as a person too. I love you all so so much and am gonna miss you to death. I have a memory with each and every one of you that I will always remember. And I hope that when I come back on breaks, I get to see you. You are my family. And I will never forget you.
So I have 15 days left in Oregon. Everyday, this hits me harder. I am starting to get more and more excited because I’m talking to some of my new teammates and I can’t wait to meet them in person and start practicing with them. But i’m also getting more and more scared and sad. I found out that I won’t be seeing my “twin” before I leave, which almost made me cry. He’s one of my best friends on the PSU team and today is the last day he’s gonna be in Oregon for the summer. I also found out that Alex’s stupid dad is keeping him in Montana for longer, of course. He was only supposed to be going for 7 days. Today is number 14. And he was supposed to come home tomorrow, but his dad changed it…again. It makes me so sad because I am getting my time robbed away from me. It’s extremely frustrating.
Last night, I went and stunted with one of Hawaii’s alumni and did better than I thought. I worked on some harder stunts and hit them at least once if not a few times. My tumbling wasn’t at its best, but I’m still working on it. After we were worn out, we sat down and talked, me, him, and my mom. Talking about everything made it seem so much more real. Which makes me excited, but also scares me to death.
This goodbye is going to be the hardest one I’ve ever had to make. I’ve been moved around a lot. And goodbyes are always hard. But this one is different. This one means leaving everything behind. Starting over, completely on my own. I never thought I’d be moving out this soon. And I’m not just moving a few minutes away, but an ocean away. Not having my family with me is going to be so weird. And not having my cats! oh my goodness. They are annoying, but I don’t know what I’m gonna do without having one to snuggle with. I always have one in my bed at night. It’s gonna be lonely. And I know I’m gonna get homesick. But I know I can do it.
"When people say you can’t do something, you must simply turn around to them and say, "watch me."
So I was just thinking. During my freshman year of high school in Florida, I was on the varsity cheer team. The team was known for their talent and were one of the most accomplished teams at the school. I was told I wasn’t good enough. I was told I wouldn’t fight for my stunts, for my team. I was “the reason we didn’t make it to finals at nationals” because my stunts fell. I thought about giving up cheer after that year. I didn’t think anything could come out of simply my love of cheering. But through all the negativity that team put me up against, I stuck with it. I moved to Oregon and cheered for the team here for 3 years. My talent all of a sudden was something to be positive about. I was considered good. And I began to feel like I could actually achieve something. Making Portland State’s team blew my mind. To be a college cheerleader was the best feeling in the world. But I still knew my dreams were bigger than Portland State. That even though my freshman year told me I couldn’t go anywhere with the talent I had, my dreams were big. Now I want to look at that coach and some of those girls on that team and say, I told you so.